Stories create connection, self-awareness and personal growth

The past week I have been fortunate to hear the stories of several individuals. It’s so rich to see past the face in front of you and notice the fabric of the being through the stories shared. The events that have shaped them often dating several generations back. We have customs that may be ancient and we sometimes have behaviors that we cannot explain. Sometimes the journey travelled becomes the fabric of the story. This is especially true for people displaced but also for those who move voluntarily.

No matter who we are we all crave belonging and search for a tribe. Some give up their identity to belong, and this often leads to an emptiness in the future.

Considering the number of stories I have been fortunate enough to hear lately I wonder about all the stories I have missed out on because we chose to fit into a neutral group, because of the need to belong instead of sharing our story.

I know I chose to ignore or hide parts of my identity to fit the norm for decades. A child, and adults too, often chooses to fit the norm instead of educating their surroundings about who they are. Who owns the responsibility? Should the surrounding people be curious about you or do you need to be courageous and teach those around you?

Recently I experienced good old friends of 40+ years deny my heritage to my face. Nine hundred plus years of history and heritage denied. We can blame a school curriculum that chose to ignore us, we can choose to blame me as I did not educate my friends earlier, we can expect more curiosity of my friends. Nonetheless, the feeling of having your heritage and identity erased was brutal.

My family's burial site in the archipelago of Finland.

The fact that this happens to people all over the world every day is frightening. Some stories are lost because individuals are separated not only from their heritage but they may also not share a journey with anyone. Our stories matter and we have too much evidence showing us that those who lose their story break in so many ways.

Let’s share our stories and let’s listen to each other’s stories. They are beautiful and rich, sad and educational but they are ours and deserve to be heard. They make us who we are, guide our behaviors and decisions. Who knows perhaps we could make the world a better place just by sharing our stories, by connecting as human beings and not only as the faces in front of us. Even our enemies and those we dislike have a story.

In leadership and coaching self-awareness is critical. What guides your decision making and behavior? Taking time to explore your story and the stories of those around you can be a valuable exercise to achieve personal growth.

Ps food is a big part of stories, hence my picture of mushrooms and lingonberries.